Okay, so here's the deal. I like clay. Actually, I love it. I love to dig it, roll in it, eat it. So... mommy Cate got some bags of this black dirt called Potting Soil, and I dragged one around the yard and ripped it open while she was inside. It tasted great! Did she come out and thank me for rearranging? It was hard work pulling that bag. Did she say "Why Dief, I'm so happy you're enjoying yourself!"??? No. I got YELLED at. Hmmph.
So, she had a plant in the planter. She named it Rosemary. I ate it. It was yummy. It was good revenge. Guess what? I got fussed at. I hauled ass and ran with it. Mommy Cate was really mad now, and I was laughing my butt off with Rosemary in my mouth. But then she closed the gate and locked me out of the small yard! We have two fences, a chain link fence and a big privacy fence around the big yard. So she locked me out of the small yard with all the dirt and plants!
And she started using a noisy thing and cutting the pieces of wood she bought. I howled and yelled at her, but she LAUGHED.
Did you read that? She LAUGHED at ME, Princess Diefenbaker. Grrrrrrr.
So I got her back.
I'd stare at her, and say mean things. When she would look up, I would grab one of her plants that lives on the fence (a vine she says) and grab it and fight it off the fence. Ripped it right out of the ground. She laughed at me! So I kept doing it while staring into her eyes, making sure she knew WHY I was doing it. I pulled several vines off her fence and she STILL didn't let me in!
The mommies are also getting snippy when I tell them I want what they're eating. I've also been telling them I need to be on the couch. So now they're being mean and making me lay down and "behave" like a "nice girl."
I think I need a new home. Nobody should have to put up with mean mommies.
Grr.
--Frustrated Dief
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10 comments:
Maybe Ozzzzie khan khonvince John and Kelly to get KHOMPLETELY KHRAZY!
The two of woo would be every landskhaper's dream!
Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra
Have you called the ASPCA?
Huffle Mawson
Oh I think you are in need of advice here.. You could go on a woofie strike. Yup strike action needed I think.
Hugs GJ xx
We highly recommend the Natasha pout. She can sit in a corner, with her back to the humans, and sigh really loudly. Sometimes the sigh makes her snort. In case it is not working, she will glare at the humans and then sigh.
Ooo Diefie! Come on over! Could you imagine the two of us doing piggie zoomies throughout the house. And Khyra is right. Oh my...the landscaping would be dynomite(just like Jimmy Walker)! Let me know, cuz I got John and Kelly wrapped around my paw.
I hope your brothers are OK. Since they were mean to me, I hope they have to wear the lampshade, but I send puppy kisses their way.
Love and sloppy kisses.
Ozzie
Dief, if you need a new home, we have the perfect place for you - right here in OP at our house. Come right now, the door will be open.
woos, the OP Pack
you cant eat mommys plants - if you let the rosemary grow it gets picked by mommy and put in your nummies and it makes them taste so good.
but why mommy didnt like your help in the garden i have no idea
Woodrow Sweetie MJ
No matter what you do, I think you're a nice girl. You can be a nice girl and be digging and eating plants. My mom tells me to be a good girl and not dig, but I say I can do both!
Kat
As my Unkey Tubey says, "Humans are stupid." He is completely correct!!
And, they are mean. You can come stay with me. I get to dig, and chew up stuff, and I never get yelled at!
Khady Lynn
i'll let woo in on a little Siberian secret: to make the bipeds pay for their meanness, ignore them. Totally. No looks, no smiles, no kisses, no sad eyes... just walk away efurry time they want to pet woo. Turn your back on em. Look the other way. In no time at all, they'll be BEGGING WOO to forgive them.
Some bipeds need more training than others, it sounds like you got the hard-to-train kind. but woo can do it!
I'm here for ya, with years of experience.
Star
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