Stinky New Brother:
Okay, so the mommies decided to get MAX, because (boo hoo) he needed rescuing. He told me he was being kept in a kennel when she got him, so it doesn't sound like he really needed to call 911. Whatever.
Anyway, so get this: the little squirt has taken my den! The mommies said I was old enough to sleep out of the crate at night finally because I haven't "destroyed" anything in a long time. But now I don't even get a CHOICE. That stupid Max gets to sleep in MY bed every night.
And he gets the same food I do, and more of it! Mommy Cate says that he's supposed to get 2% of his ADULT weight, and that he'll be 100 pounds or so. I, on the other hand, am a petite 55 pounds. So farthead, who is half my size, gets more than me!
Oh yeah, and they won't let me bite him hard enough to make him squeal. Every time he cries, it's DIEF!!! STOP KILLING HIM!!
That does it. I'm moving out. I'll be living in the yard if anyone wants me. I'll show them who's calling the shots here.
Me, living in the yard now. Just TRY to catch me, mommies.
Me. I'm pretty but I'm fierce. RAWR.